Page 7-30

Page 7-30
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1st May 2020, 3:27 PM in Chapter 7
Average Rating: 5 (2 votes) Rate this comic

Author Notes:

Rocktopus 1st May 2020, 3:27 PM edit delete

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T_z 1st May 2020, 3:43 PM edit delete reply
This is what he'll come back to, isn't it
Rocktopus 1st May 2020, 4:29 PM edit delete reply
Let's see how long they can hold it together without him!
Dirk 1st May 2020, 4:14 PM edit delete reply
Dang, Ruby is like a 20th level waitress.
Rocktopus 1st May 2020, 4:29 PM edit delete reply
That's why they only have 1!
Ericthetolle 2nd May 2020, 9:22 AM edit delete reply
The official rules for waitstaff:

"A character may only achieve twelfth-level waitron if there is a vacancy or they best one of the nine current waitrons in spell or hand-to-hand combat. If the combat is not mortal, the loser drops to the beginning of level eleven, initiate of the ninth circle. This process is repeated for becoming the thirteenth-level Archwaitron (with the loser reverting to waitron) and the fourteenth-level Great Waitron (with the loser reverting to Archwaitron)."
Sturzkampf 1st May 2020, 4:42 PM edit delete reply
I suspect she is the most powerful magic-user in Marblegate, including the weirdo living at the top of the hill.
chris-tar 1st May 2020, 4:16 PM edit delete reply
The bathroom is "nature"!?! Not sure I would want to dine in a restaurant surrounded by giant steaming piles of crap! Lol
Rocktopus 1st May 2020, 4:32 PM edit delete reply
There's a giant forest a few feet behind the tavern
chris-tar 1st May 2020, 4:52 PM edit delete reply
Marblegate is a technological marvel, and the Wizard who lives there can't even conjure up a septic tank?
...just sayin....
Or how about the adventurers get up off their lazy butts and work together to dig some canals and ditches and build septic tanks or whatever their medieval equivalent was...
How about an "outhouse" or two?
Or maybe a magical beast known as "The Dung Eater" Ha! It could be placed at the bottom of every outhouse!
HeavyP 4th May 2020, 8:37 PM edit delete reply
chris-tar, not sure if you're a D&D nerd like me, but they actually made a monster that fills that slot, and have used it as such in a number of the computer games and books - the Otyugh (presumably the name is the exclamation that someone made when they came across one feeding).
chris-tar 4th May 2020, 8:56 PM edit delete reply
The Otyugh is too big (8 feet wide) and dangerous, I was thinking of something more along the lines of green, poop eating, mutant pigs or something... lol
Matt 5th May 2020, 12:12 AM edit delete reply
Gelatinous cube eats anything, and doesn't really climb. Thus just shute all the waste into a pit with one of those. It will eat it up. Worst case scenario, you serve jell-o for dinner.
Oldarmourer 6th May 2020, 8:24 PM edit delete reply
I have an old handbook somewhere that used a black pudding as a just burned any little pudding bits still sticking to the plates off with a torch before stacking them on the sideboard :)
Oldarmourer 8th May 2020, 11:26 AM edit delete reply
hmmm...maybe a bucket of those little green cubes would do the trick ?
Allzephyr 1st May 2020, 4:54 PM edit delete reply
Given the beasties that crop up in fantasy setting forests they must lose a fair few customers that way.
Rocktopus 1st May 2020, 5:32 PM edit delete reply
The dungeon is lethal; but the area around it is relatively safe
Bookeater_otaku 1st May 2020, 8:20 PM edit delete reply
Not with "nature" as the bathroo. That forest in the dark is now a minefield. Good luck not stepping into something awful and wish the previous night special wasn't the curry.
Sturzkampf 2nd May 2020, 9:30 AM edit delete reply
At least it's better than a sewer system. As soon as you walk into a town that doesn't smell of excrement and has all those little manhole covers, you know you're in for a whole lot of trouble.
Guest 1st May 2020, 9:32 PM edit delete reply
I would think privy or garderobe would be a better term. But I'm just stuffy that way.
someone 2nd May 2020, 3:22 PM edit delete reply
Garderobe's a weird euphemism. I know "toilet" was originally a dresser for cleaning up (with makeup and perfume), but at least it can kinda make sense you'd want to freshen up after heeding nature's call. But garderobe? That's the wardrobe. Unless you're changing your suit it doesn't make sense. Plus, I wouldn't want to keep my clean clothes at a place where a visitor is looking for material with which to wipe their butt.
padanew 1st May 2020, 4:56 PM edit delete reply
Give that waitress a tip! Waitress love tips!
Rocktopus 1st May 2020, 5:36 PM edit delete reply
"Feed me your tips. They sustain me."
Bookeater_otaku 1st May 2020, 8:28 PM edit delete reply
That waitress is a "little" overworked I think. Ex-adventurer? Because her dex stat is really good. But still, only one waitress for the shift?!

And Jawmouth stouts... a tad redundant for a name no? Besides, everyone knows that Jawmouth stouts is piss compared to their competitors, Rumpassbutt pilsner.
Matthew 2nd May 2020, 3:01 AM edit delete reply
This actually makes me understand why Ozzi is in this party, if only a bit. Sure they may argue a lot, but Colleen and Randulf would never hang out and drink with him like this. (I mean, sure Randulf would drink, but not in a fun, partying kind of way.)

Also, pay for a damn chamber pot, Mr. Tavern Owner. Otherwise I guarantee that twenty drunks a night are going to decide that the far wall of your tavern is close enough to "Nature" for their purposes, and really who wants that?
Oldarmourer 2nd May 2020, 5:14 PM edit delete reply
In days of old, and in many places even today, the 'urinal at a Tavern is a blank wall...
Often with a trough at the bottom to save your shoes or sometimes with water running down it, but still just a wall.
I'd assume 'nature' comes with a 'foul ground' sign like any semi-respectable latrine, ex-military know what that's about...
Or maybe a shovel (or wooden paddle as prescribed in Scripture ;) ) but bring your own wipers or pick a few before you go.
It's hard not to overlay 21st century niceties on quasi-medieval times but you can't have what doesn't exist yet.
On the other hand, magic is a thing so maybe there's an enchanted hollow tree stump where anything 'dropped' in disappears...
Matt 5th May 2020, 12:15 AM edit delete reply
There is plenty of mosters in D&D that live on trash and waste. some of them don't even know how to climb,so you can shove them down the hole, and then use them as self-emptying septic.
jamwa 3rd May 2020, 12:22 AM edit delete reply
the bathroom being nature is less confusing than how has it just now come up for him to find this out?

hasn't he been there for a week or so? its definitely been a couple of days at least. how has this not come up already?

but they just need a dirtamancer (from a comic called erfworld) to take care of things each morning and no problem really ^-^
RazorD9 3rd May 2020, 4:02 AM edit delete reply
Ah nature. It's a step up from those real old non franchised gas station restrooms that you find in the middle of no where while driving cross country as far as cleanliness.
Oldarmourer 3rd May 2020, 7:16 PM edit delete reply
There was such a thing as 'night soil' collectors...big business, hightly competitive :)
jamwa 3rd May 2020, 8:23 PM edit delete reply
for that matter, assuming there is some local farming done, they could well just have sections staked off that rotate ever couple of days and then come planting time prefertilized fields ready to plant next crop in.

would just need a small contingent of farmers to keep timely tilling up the sections as they get rotated and there little to no unsightly mess going to be left around.
Worstcase 4th May 2020, 3:41 PM edit delete reply
That would be one way to spread tapeworm & company.
Maybe that is the reason why the mages don't check dungeon returner for parasites, as everyone has to get healing treatment from the church for those anyway.
Oldarmourer 8th May 2020, 12:13 AM edit delete reply
and one of the main reasons we see outbreaks of e-coli and hepatitis from's still the fertilizer used in many countries
Rocktopus 7th May 2020, 6:59 AM edit delete reply
Most of the town's food comes from nearby monasteries or isolated religious colonies (think Amish or Puritans or Hutterites) where either monks, or religious farming communities grow the food for the surrounding towns and villages. Take a close look at page 4-2 and you can see some of the monks. Also, the guy in page 1-3 and 1-5.

The rest of the town's food is hunted or fished from the nearby sea or rivers.
BornOnTheNinth 4th May 2020, 4:13 AM edit delete reply
What happened to the bartender's eye, and why doesn't he have an eyepatch?
Blackwing 4th May 2020, 11:25 PM edit delete reply
Well, to make a long story short, let's just say that there's a reason why he doesn't do custom cocktail orders anymore.

Either that, or somebody got a critical failure while playing darts one night.

As for the eyepatch (or lack thereof), if he's too cheap build an outhouse, and too cheap to hire more than one waitress, he's probably too cheap to buy an eyepatch or a glass eye. I bet he waters down the drinks too. Mark my words, if he ever got any competition in this town, he would be in trouble.
Matt 5th May 2020, 12:17 AM edit delete reply
Luckily for him, every competing tavern somehow burned down to ashes the night they opened...
padanew 5th May 2020, 7:57 AM edit delete reply
Luck? Someone got a good Idea to commit insurance fraud. They stuffed there basement with candles and other flammables. He did forget his matches but a fairly nice boney man in a black robe offered him a match.
Jeremiah 5th May 2020, 2:06 PM edit delete reply
Yep. Heard about that. It was called "The Broked Drum", I believe.

Instead of "a wizard did it", it's a case of "a wizzard told me"
padanew 7th May 2020, 9:15 PM edit delete reply
It can't be beaten!
Oldarmourer 6th May 2020, 8:22 PM edit delete reply
I'm thinking the wide-open eye is the glass one... ;)
melaredblu 17th Jun 2020, 2:37 AM edit delete reply
They don't have facilities? In a town like this? That's just asking from trouble.